Why
by CirqueDuFreakObsessed95
Summary: Why did you leave me? Was I not good enough for you? Did I mean nothing to you?


This is my first songfic so please review

Disclaimer: I don't own the saga of Darren Shan/cirque du freak or the song My Immortal by Evanescence.

Xxx

Why?

Why did you leave me? Was I not god enough for you? Did I mean nothing to you?

_I'm so tired of being here_

Didn't you love me as I loved you?

_Suppressed by all my childish fears_

I can't go on without you, but I must. I have to be strong, for the both of us.

_And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave_

So every night I look out the window to see the stars and I know that you are here with me. If not physically, but spiritually.

'_Cause your presence still lingers here. And it won't leave me alone _

Every time I close my eyes I see your smiling face and I wish it would just go away. Leave me alone.

_These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real_

Why have you caused me this pain? Why did you take away the one and only thing I ever wanted when you had everything? Everything!

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

My scars run to deep that time cannot heal them. Nothing can heal them. Not even you.

_**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all these years. But you still have all of me.**_

_You used to captivate me by your resonating life_

We completed each other. We were Yin and Yang. Black and white. Night and day.

_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

I wish I could have felt your soft pink lips pressed up against my chapped and dried ones at least once before you left me.

_Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams_

I wish I could have told you how much I loved you. How much I cared about you. But no. I lost you to that orange haired vampire. In fact, I never truly had you.

_Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me_

Now here we are, face to face again. I feel my heart breaking as your eyes go dead and I feel mine die as well.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

What have I done? All I wanted was revenge on the vampire. I never meant to hurt you as well.

_This pain is just too real_

I felt the exact same pain as that you feel right now, for it was the pain I felt when I lost you.

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

Now we have met yet again. I know that this will be our final meeting and I have braced myself for death because whether or not you win, I will be dead all the same.

_**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years but you still have all of me.**_

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_

Through the years I kept telling myself that I hated you. That you disgusted me. But I could never really hate you because I loved you too much.

_And though you're still with me I've been alone all along._

And throughout all these years I have pushed away everyone who was close to me or tried to be. I only had room for you in my cold black heart.

_**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears. And I held your hand through all of these years. But you still have all of me.**_

So here we are. You on top, and me on the bottom. I don't regret anything that I ever did except for one thing. Hurting you. I feel tears at my eyes as you turn to look at me. I am so captivated by your beauty that I don't feel you release my wrist.

"You were right Steve, I did plot with . I did take your rightful place as a vampire."

His words alight a familiar rage in me. But I keep my calm.

"I can't believe you were stupid enough to believe that you were even _worthy_ of becoming a vampire."

Then, I snap. I lunge at him, dagger in hand. I then stab him repeatedly in the gut where I had I had stabbed him before. I am so focussed with the task at hand that I don't hear the moans and groans of pain that escape his mouth.

Then, I stop. What have I done? I had just killed the only person I had ever loved.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

Then in his last seconds of life, he rolls us over and over until we reach a river. This is it. This is the end. I close my eyes as I feel the icy cold water lick at my skin.

The last thing I see before I die is his face. Although he is scratched up, bruised and bloody, he is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. And even though I know I am damned and will end up in the lake of souls, I am happy because as our last moments of life slip away, I hear him say he loves me. And that is all I could have ever wished for.

Xxx

Hope you liked my fic don't forget to R&R

~Darrene


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